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Freedom

by Kristian Veech

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1.
july 4th 01:17
Strips of light through my window shades I’m staring at the ceiling Crawling out out of bed I’ve been tired for endless days And there ain’t much to celebrate People laugh and people let loose With Fireworks and sparklers Up down the street Everyone’s got their red white and blue But I only feel the later hue Feels like I’m looking for freedom In all the wrong places Like waiting on a promise Believing lies Maybe independence is hidden In my scars and strides Like the Fourth of July
2.
Freedom 04:42
Every day it feels like all eyes are on me But I know They’re not And every mistake feels breaking the law But I know I’m not And every time I try to break through And challenge my status quo I break down and I feel like I’m loosing control I can’t move, I can’t breathe I can’t even speak I can’t be anything That I need to be I’m held back by my fears That I’ve held on to For so many years All I want is my freedom The freedom to live my own life All I want is my freedom The freedom from my own mind Every day I paint you a smile So you’ll believe That Im doing fine But you don’t always get What you see Cause I’ve built up my walls And they ain’t showing signs of coming down But my defenses Ain’t more than a cold prison cell I can’t move, I can’t breathe I can’t even speak I can’t be anything That I need to be I’m held back by my fears That I’ve held on to For so many years All I want is my freedom The freedom to live my own life All I want is my freedom The freedom from my own mind I’ve been convinced That the odds are against me And I cant handle anything I’m desperate to find My own sweet liberation And one day I’ll start to believe That I’m not perfect But it don’t make me worthless I’ll just let it go free All I want is my freedom The freedom to live my own life Oh I’m begging for freedom The freedom from my own mind From my mind Oh I’m begging for freedom The freedom from my own mind From my mind
3.
Damaged 03:43
You've got a lot of nerve coming bAck around here Just to say you're sorry then disappear You do this over and over agaiN You know this ain't just the seconD chance Cause I can't even count them on my own two hands 'Cause I was hoping tonight we'd have the time of our lives Instead you shot me down with Your lies I took the damage from all you've done Now I'm shattered into pieces in the parKing lot You took advantage of all my trust Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enough When you're on your own thinkIng what went wrong I hope you remember, remember what you've damaged You've got a lot of Nerve 'cause you don't really care You sabotaged what was left of a friend And my 22nd bIrthday just a casualty Of your dark manipulation killing memories And you left me here to cRy "happy birthday to me" Oh I've been patient but now I'm done 'Cause being friends with You Was like a loaded shot gun I took the damagE from all you've done Now I'm shattered into pieces in the parking lot You took advAntage of all my trust Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enough When you're on your own thinking what went wrong I hope you remember, remember what you've damaged There's a silver lining above the bridge you've burned And maybe I should Thank you 'Cause maybe I'd never learn To stand up for myself in the face of danger I won't be trodden on by your vain behavior Like a Snake in your garden poised to attack When I'm stepped on I took the damage from all You've done And it only made me stronger no I'll never forget You took advantage of all my trust Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enougH When you're on your own thInking what went wrong I hope you remember, remember whaT you've damaged remember what you've damaged
4.
Turn the lock up the stairs Close my bedroom door Change my clothes Rip them off Now they lie on the floor As I stare in the mirror I’m worn out like an old t shirt Im fading away As I crawl in bed Ignoring how much I hurt Now I’m starring at the ceiling Thinking what could be Dreaming of a better me I’m lost inside the future Like a memory Im just hanging on by a dream I see a lighted stage Hear song in a bright studio And gone are the days Of the retail hole I see a stronger man Taking on the world With nothing but his own two hands He ain’t afraid of nothing So fearless to the core He ain’t that scared little kid anymore Still I’m starring at the ceiling Thinking what could be Dreaming of a better me I’m lost inside the future Like a memory Im just hanging on by a dream I’ve been patiently wanting To start a new Don’t know where I should go But I know I will be soon I can’t shake these dreams Of unfamiliar places That feel like home Is it a sign to go? Now I’m staring at the ceiling Tracing morning beams Trying to get a little more sleep The thought of waking up Is weighing down on me I’m just hanging on by a dream But one day it won’t be just a dream
5.
Saturn rises over burning streets He’s looking down and he’s not real pleased The people fight the blaze of tyranny Into the summer night they sing The pigs of war armed from head to toe Gaslight the masses, spill blood in the road Sworn to protect but only built to serve The establishment of a broken world They’re telling lies telling lies But you don’t really care And They’re taking lives taking lives but you’re still unaware Cause ignorance is sweeter than bliss Silence, silence, turns a blind eye to the right And just fight through the night Through the night, through the night They’ll be sorry they lied When the revolutionaries cry The men in suits lie beyond the law In solidarity the people call Red, white but they demand the truth They paint the town a whole new shade of blue They’re telling lies telling lies But you don’t really care And They’re taking lives taking lives but you’re still unaware Cause ignorance is sweeter than bliss Silence, silence, turns a blind eye to the right And just fight through the night Through the night, through the night They’ll be sorry they lied When the revolutionaries cry Red, white and blue Stars, stripes, and fools Freedom forever and ever Fighting for the Red, white and blue Scars, strides, and truth Freedom forever and ever And ever Hear the revolutionaries cry Revolutionaries cry Red, white, and blue Scars, strides, and truth
6.
Confessions 04:05
This is all on me The pressure and sole responsibility I’m taking the fall For insecurities I’m taking the fall Cause I run away in fear Then jump into pools of the driest tears Hit the bottom so rough I’ve pushed away what’s near It’s all my fault Oh I take I take I take the blame Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes But I break and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like the promises In my mind in mind wish for another life And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine But I break and and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like promises I burnt down And in the ashes I find These are confessions are mine I hide out desperately Wishing problems resolve eventually But I can’t deny I play them endlessly In the back of my mind And I breathing validation like it’s oxygen Cause I’m always just a failure of I never win But I suffocate on those words To lose again Oh I take I take I take the blame Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes But I break and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like the promises In my mind in mind wish for another life And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine But I break and and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like promises I burnt down And in the ashes I find These are confessions of mine Just a victim to deception of internal cause Shackled down to every memory thought I lost But there’s no one else to blame No one to pay the cost Just a fool and his broken thoughts Oh I take I take I take the blame Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes But I break and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like the promises In my mind in mind wish for another life And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine But I break and and I break and I break right down Like the promises, like promises I burnt down And in the ashes I find These are confessions of mine
7.
Wallflower 03:15
Another night I’m trapped in a corner Wearing my bravest face all over again My silence is a matter of self defense And my loneliness is just a friend Oh I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you Cause I know that, I know that, I know that, I know that you’ll see right through Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow Rose colored thorns Coming in sharply I try to fake confidence But it shows that I’m shy You know the pressure’s on I’ve got to be The life of the party But I’d rather escape the night So why even try? Cause I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you Cause I know that, I know that, I know that, I know that you’ll see right through Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow Rose colored thorns For weathering storms Closed up and worn I’ve got endure Will is ever get better Or stay this way forever I don’t wanna do this all on my own (I don’t wanna do this all on my own) Another night Stuck in a crowded room But the sky’s are clear And I’m ready to bloom Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go? Take me to the place where wallflowers grow Rose colored thorns For weathering storms Closed up and worn I’ve got endure Will is ever get better Or stay this way forever I don’t wanna do this all on my own (I don’t wanna do this all on my own) I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you Will is ever get better Or stay this way forever Take me to the place where the wallflowers grow
8.
You were young And starry-eyed Just a space cadet in training Lost in time You set your sights To be a captain one day But you abandoned post When you started to break You know It’s never too late to come back home Sometimes it takes a thousand light years To rediscover what you know Cause you’ve been running on fumes burning youth I thought I lost you I thought I lost you Cause you were young And played the fool Tearing up the book of rules That you still follow too You’re flying solo In your broken tin can Wishing you had solid ground To grow and make your stand You know It’s never too late to come back home Sometimes it takes a thousand light years To rediscover what you know Cause you’ve been running on fumes burning youth I thought I lost you I thought I lost you You search for consolation Among a distant void Of cries for help Where you believe they’ll never hear you Internalize, you’re only see through But we share this constellation Your my twin, my sign, my fading light But I believe that what I’ve been through Will always pull me right back to you Cause I could give every shred of love To someone else But you’re with me till the end And I’ll never have a closer friend You are young Scared and hurt You’ve gotten used to pain But you’ll heal at every turn You stumble home Standing at the door The cadet has grown And he’s a captain now You know it’s never too late to come back home Sometimes it takes a thousand light years To rediscover what you know Cause you’ve been running on fumes burning youth So I thought I lost you I thought I lost you But now I’ve found you Now I’ve found you You were young
9.
Reflection 04:47
Mama always told me “You’ll find a woman some day” And daddy tried to raise me To be a man his way I could feel their hesitations And silent expectations On my young bright mind I didn’t want to let them down Those kids that I called friends Called me the worst of names Bullied into silence All I felt was shame But how could they have known? Was it so obvious it showed? So I just denied And I believed my lie The truth I wanted to erase I couldn’t look into a mirror at my own face Cause I’ve always known It just took a while to realize That there was some hope For a kid like me As I look on back Through the silver glass Im proud because of all I’ve overcome In my time of reflection I was always scared I’d be Written off and outcast What would they all think of me? Fearing the worst in my head So I kept to my own music To distract my disillusions Quietly I struggled to be free The truth I wanted to erase I couldn’t look into a mirror at my own face Cause I’ve always known It just took a while to realize That there was some hope For a kid like me As I look on back Through the silver glass Im proud I’ve overcome And healed those scars In my time of reflection I never wanted to believe But I came to terms eventually And they’re all still proud of me Cause I can live in honesty Cause I’ve always known It just took a while to realize That there was some hope For a kid like me As I look on back Through the silver glass Im proud because of all I’ve overcome In my time of reflection I believe In my time of reflection
10.
Shadow 06:14
Here I am I’ve done this all before My body shakes my heart will race I’m lying on the floor I can only ride this out Till my mind wears me down Like a torn up journal entry In pieces in the dark To me You are no stranger You’ve been here my whole life But always fail to make me braver Internal sabotage You’re a like a ghost without a cause Lingering inside my head you haunt me And I hide you with a smile To make them think that I’m alright But I know that I’m a liar Every time I say I’m fine Cause you follow me Every day you’re right behind me You make my life feel so god damn empty Like I don’t even matter You twist my thoughts and all of my mistakes Block the light out make me feel insane You’re just like my shadow Cause you’ll always follow me Here I am I keep trying To shake this twisted obsession With hurting myself But you always undermine With judgement you disguise Everything I’ve ever done Like I’ve failed everyone else And I I keep wishing That someone someday will save me From this pain that keeps me living But love is no solution Cause it can't fix it all And in the end I need to same myself So I’ll hide you with a smile Just to function all the time And I know that I’m a lair When I say that I’m all right Cause you follow me Every day you’re right behind me You Make my life feel so god damn empty Like I don’t even matter You twist my thoughts and all of my mistakes Block the light out make me feel insane You’re just like my shadow Cause you’ll always follow me I didn’t want them all to see Me broken down like this But the consequence Of running just to exist Is only suffering Oh I can’t hide Cause You follow me Every day you’re right behind me You Make my life feel so god damn empty Like I don’t even matter You only make Mistakes Block the light out make me feel insane You’re just like my shadow Here I am All I have is hope It’s a lonely shred of light In a dark and empty void I’ve got reasons to believe In what I will achieve I’ve put my faith in a childhood dream Cause I’m more than a shadow And maybe one day I’ll be free
11.
Strips of light through my window shades Light these stripped down walls In a whole new way I can’t believe just how much I’ve changed And there’s still so much to celebrate Packed up my life And unpacked my pride In cardboard moving boxes Covering the floor A change of pace and a change of mind It’s a blank slate And I’ll I’ve got is time Cause I’m still writing my story on the bedroom walls It’s messy and imperfect, don’t hold back at all I’m just grateful for each chapter Through hurt, the cries and laughs No I won’t look back Now I’m staring at the ceiling Knowing I can be Stronger than I once believed I’m lost inside the present Like a memory Cause I know I’m always free Cause I know that I am always free I used to believe that freedom was an endgame That one day I’d rid myself completely of my shadows and insecurities But they’re as much of a part of you as your passions, beliefs and wildest day dreams I’m not perfect but I’m still learning To shake hands with my ghosts Letting go and taking control And I’ve begun to realize Happiness isn’t the freedom from pain It is freedom in spite of it

about

One thing I've learned to embrace, not only as a song writer, but as a person is vulnerability. Having lived a lot of my life constantly running away from myself and my demons, I never felt a solid sense of freedom inside my head. And like all of my albums, this one documents a specific chapter of my life. One in which instead of backing down and running away, I turned inwards and started to face my insecurities and anxieties head on. These eleven songs explore what the word "freedom" means to me, in its most raw and honest forms. Thank you for listening.


Thank you's:

Gregg & Mayell Veech, Zoe Veech, Alex Veech, Alyssa & Peter Veech, Peyton Veech, Christin and Robert Veech, Rondi Casey, Marina & Teotimo Osorio, Yelba Zoe McCourt, Denise Caballero, Jim & Kim Goryeb, Casey Goreyb, Mike Goryeb, Sammy Jo, Mark & Lee Ann McCarthy, Stan & Amy Shubsda, Molly Shubsda, Peyton Shubsda, Adam Shubsda, Savannah Smith, Patric Crean, Tim Shank, Steffi Jeraldo, Chris Dorsey, Andy Sepe,
Sam Robbins, Ty Openshaw, Joe Folan, Sam Ferrara, Lauren Rose Thayer, Emily Myers, Luis Echeverria, Ryan Buzzeto, Brent Snyder, Caroline DeLone, Eitan Snyder, Katie Fee, Sammy Kay, Cole Miracle, Greyson Campbell, Sara Latimer, Autumn Nicholas, Bryan Ruby, Steve Vacante, Matthew Butter, Brian Viebranz, DJ Lane, Brian Dollaway, Ian Garland, Angus Garland, Becca Levy, Krystal Polychronis, Prateek Poddar, Katie Dobbins, Ally Honywell, Emma Gelinas, Gianluca Farina, Joel Smales, Todd Felton, Dana Stewart, Bob Reyone, Simone Scazocchio, Joe Carrier, Bobby Stanton, Susan Cataneo, Bob Catalano, and Karl Anderson

credits

released June 3, 2022

All songs written by Kristian Veech

Kristian Veech - Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Keyboards, Drum Programming, Percussion, Fiddle, Banjo, Mandolin, Engineering, Production, Mixing, Mastering
Amanda McCarthy - Background Vocals on "Reflection"
Tom Shubsda - Background Vocals on "Reflection"
Mark McCarthy - Background Vocals on "Reflection" and Lead Guitar on "Damaged"
Chelsea Erica Smith - Album Cover Photo

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Kristian Veech Nashville, Tennessee

With a whimsical, starry-eyed approach and vulnerable story telling, Kristian forges his own sound, backed by a sheen of country, pop, rock and americana. The Nashville based singer songwriter draws inspiration from artists such as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Kacey Musgraves, and Luke Combsamong others. ... more

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