1. |
july 4th
01:17
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Strips of light through my window shades
I’m staring at the ceiling
Crawling out out of bed
I’ve been tired for endless days
And there ain’t much to celebrate
People laugh and people let loose
With Fireworks and sparklers
Up down the street
Everyone’s got their red white and blue
But I only feel the later hue
Feels like I’m looking for freedom
In all the wrong places
Like waiting on a promise
Believing lies
Maybe independence is hidden
In my scars and strides
Like the Fourth of July
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2. |
Freedom
04:42
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Every day it feels like all eyes are on me
But I know They’re not
And every mistake feels breaking the law
But I know I’m not
And every time I try to break through
And challenge my status quo
I break down and I feel like
I’m loosing control
I can’t move, I can’t breathe
I can’t even speak
I can’t be anything
That I need to be
I’m held back by my fears
That I’ve held on to
For so many years
All I want is my freedom
The freedom to live my own life
All I want is my freedom
The freedom from my own mind
Every day I paint you a smile
So you’ll believe
That Im doing fine
But you don’t always get
What you see
Cause I’ve built up my walls
And they ain’t showing signs of coming down
But my defenses
Ain’t more than a cold prison cell
I can’t move, I can’t breathe
I can’t even speak
I can’t be anything
That I need to be
I’m held back by my fears
That I’ve held on to
For so many years
All I want is my freedom
The freedom to live my own life
All I want is my freedom
The freedom from my own mind
I’ve been convinced
That the odds are against me
And I cant handle anything
I’m desperate to find
My own sweet liberation
And one day I’ll start to believe
That I’m not perfect
But it don’t make me worthless
I’ll just let it go free
All I want is my freedom
The freedom to live my own life
Oh I’m begging for freedom
The freedom from my own mind
From my mind
Oh I’m begging for freedom
The freedom from my own mind
From my mind
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3. |
Damaged
03:43
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You've got a lot of nerve coming bAck around here
Just to say you're sorry then disappear
You do this over and over agaiN
You know this ain't just the seconD chance
Cause I can't even count them on my own two hands
'Cause I was hoping tonight we'd have the time of our lives
Instead you shot me down with Your lies
I took the damage from all you've done
Now I'm shattered into pieces in the parKing lot
You took advantage of all my trust
Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enough
When you're on your own thinkIng what went wrong
I hope you remember, remember what you've damaged
You've got a lot of Nerve 'cause you don't really care
You sabotaged what was left of a friend
And my 22nd bIrthday just a casualty
Of your dark manipulation killing memories
And you left me here to cRy "happy birthday to me"
Oh I've been patient but now I'm done
'Cause being friends with You
Was like a loaded shot gun
I took the damagE from all you've done
Now I'm shattered into pieces in the parking lot
You took advAntage of all my trust
Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enough
When you're on your own thinking what went wrong
I hope you remember, remember what you've damaged
There's a silver lining above the bridge you've burned
And maybe I should Thank you
'Cause maybe I'd never learn
To stand up for myself in the face of danger
I won't be trodden on by your vain behavior
Like a Snake in your garden poised to attack
When I'm stepped on
I took the damage from all You've done
And it only made me stronger no I'll never forget
You took advantage of all my trust
Beat it into the ground because it wasn't enougH
When you're on your own thInking what went wrong
I hope you remember, remember whaT you've damaged
remember what you've damaged
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4. |
Hanging On By A Dream
03:56
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Turn the lock up the stairs
Close my bedroom door
Change my clothes
Rip them off
Now they lie on the floor
As I stare in the mirror
I’m worn out like an old t shirt
Im fading away
As I crawl in bed
Ignoring how much I hurt
Now I’m starring at the ceiling
Thinking what could be
Dreaming of a better me
I’m lost inside the future
Like a memory
Im just hanging on by a dream
I see a lighted stage
Hear song in a bright studio
And gone are the days
Of the retail hole
I see a stronger man
Taking on the world
With nothing but his own two hands
He ain’t afraid of nothing
So fearless to the core
He ain’t that scared little kid anymore
Still I’m starring at the ceiling
Thinking what could be
Dreaming of a better me
I’m lost inside the future
Like a memory
Im just hanging on by a dream
I’ve been patiently wanting
To start a new
Don’t know where I should go
But I know I will be soon
I can’t shake these dreams
Of unfamiliar places
That feel like home
Is it a sign to go?
Now I’m staring at the ceiling
Tracing morning beams
Trying to get a little more sleep
The thought of waking up
Is weighing down on me
I’m just hanging on by a dream
But one day it won’t be just a dream
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5. |
red, white, and blue
04:37
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Saturn rises over burning streets
He’s looking down and he’s not real pleased
The people fight the blaze of tyranny
Into the summer night they sing
The pigs of war armed from head to toe
Gaslight the masses, spill blood in the road
Sworn to protect but only built to serve
The establishment of a broken world
They’re telling lies telling lies
But you don’t really care
And They’re taking lives taking lives but you’re still unaware
Cause ignorance is sweeter than bliss
Silence, silence, turns a blind eye to the right
And just fight through the night
Through the night, through the night
They’ll be sorry they lied
When the revolutionaries cry
The men in suits lie beyond the law
In solidarity the people call
Red, white but they demand the truth
They paint the town a whole new shade of blue
They’re telling lies telling lies
But you don’t really care
And They’re taking lives taking lives but you’re still unaware
Cause ignorance is sweeter than bliss
Silence, silence, turns a blind eye to the right
And just fight through the night
Through the night, through the night
They’ll be sorry they lied
When the revolutionaries cry
Red, white and blue
Stars, stripes, and fools
Freedom forever and ever
Fighting for the
Red, white and blue
Scars, strides, and truth
Freedom forever and ever
And ever
Hear the revolutionaries cry
Revolutionaries cry
Red, white, and blue
Scars, strides, and truth
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6. |
Confessions
04:05
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This is all on me
The pressure and sole responsibility
I’m taking the fall
For insecurities
I’m taking the fall
Cause I run away in fear
Then jump into pools of the driest tears
Hit the bottom so rough
I’ve pushed away what’s near
It’s all my fault
Oh I take I take I take the blame
Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes
But I break and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like the promises
In my mind in mind wish for another life
And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine
But I break and and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like promises I burnt down
And in the ashes I find
These are confessions are mine
I hide out desperately
Wishing problems resolve eventually
But I can’t deny I play them endlessly
In the back of my mind
And I breathing validation like it’s oxygen
Cause I’m always just a failure of I never win
But I suffocate on those words
To lose again
Oh I take I take I take the blame
Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes
But I break and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like the promises
In my mind in mind wish for another life
And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine
But I break and and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like promises I burnt down
And in the ashes I find
These are confessions of mine
Just a victim to deception of internal cause
Shackled down to every memory thought I lost
But there’s no one else to blame
No one to pay the cost
Just a fool and his broken thoughts
Oh I take I take I take the blame
Cause I’ve made I’ve made I’ve made mistakes
But I break and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like the promises
In my mind in mind wish for another life
And I lie and I lie say everything things just fine
But I break and and I break and I break right down
Like the promises, like promises I burnt down
And in the ashes I find
These are confessions of mine
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7. |
Wallflower
03:15
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Another night I’m trapped in a corner
Wearing my bravest face all over again
My silence is a matter of self defense
And my loneliness is just a friend
Oh I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you
Cause I know that, I know that, I know that, I know that you’ll see right through
Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd
Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out
But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind
Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice
But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
Rose colored thorns
Coming in sharply
I try to fake confidence
But it shows that I’m shy
You know the pressure’s on I’ve got to be
The life of the party
But I’d rather escape the night
So why even try?
Cause I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you
Cause I know that, I know that, I know that, I know that you’ll see right through
Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd
Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out
But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind
Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice
But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
Rose colored thorns
For weathering storms
Closed up and worn
I’ve got endure
Will is ever get better
Or stay this way forever
I don’t wanna do this all on my own
(I don’t wanna do this all on my own)
Another night
Stuck in a crowded room
But the sky’s are clear
And I’m ready to bloom
Because I’m taking on the world I’m just a face in the crowd
Stumbling over words I’ve gotta learn to figure it out
But I’m thinking uh oh, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
I know I shouldn’t back away to freeze in my mind
Because these roots can never grow without breaking the ice
But I’m thinking oh no, where do I go?
Take me to the place where wallflowers grow
Rose colored thorns
For weathering storms
Closed up and worn
I’ve got endure
Will is ever get better
Or stay this way forever
I don’t wanna do this all on my own
(I don’t wanna do this all on my own)
I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk, I can’t talk to you
Will is ever get better
Or stay this way forever
Take me to the place where the wallflowers grow
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8. |
I Thought I Lost You
04:29
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You were young
And starry-eyed
Just a space cadet in training
Lost in time
You set your sights
To be a captain one day
But you abandoned post
When you started to break
You know It’s never too late to come back home
Sometimes it takes a thousand light years
To rediscover what you know
Cause you’ve been running on fumes
burning youth
I thought I lost you
I thought I lost you
Cause you were young
And played the fool
Tearing up the book of rules
That you still follow too
You’re flying solo
In your broken tin can
Wishing you had solid ground
To grow and make your stand
You know It’s never too late to come back home
Sometimes it takes a thousand light years
To rediscover what you know
Cause you’ve been running on fumes
burning youth
I thought I lost you
I thought I lost you
You search for consolation
Among a distant void
Of cries for help
Where you believe they’ll never hear you
Internalize, you’re only see through
But we share this constellation
Your my twin, my sign, my fading light
But I believe that what I’ve been through
Will always pull me right back to you
Cause I could give every shred of love
To someone else
But you’re with me till the end
And I’ll never have a closer friend
You are young
Scared and hurt
You’ve gotten used to pain
But you’ll heal at every turn
You stumble home
Standing at the door
The cadet has grown
And he’s a captain now
You know it’s never too late to come back home
Sometimes it takes a thousand light years
To rediscover what you know
Cause you’ve been running on fumes
burning youth
So I thought I lost you
I thought I lost you
But now I’ve found you
Now I’ve found you
You were young
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9. |
Reflection
04:47
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Mama always told me
“You’ll find a woman some day”
And daddy tried to raise me
To be a man his way
I could feel their hesitations
And silent expectations
On my young bright mind
I didn’t want to let them down
Those kids that I called friends
Called me the worst of names
Bullied into silence
All I felt was shame
But how could they have known?
Was it so obvious it showed?
So I just denied
And I believed my lie
The truth I wanted to erase
I couldn’t look into a mirror at my own face
Cause I’ve always known
It just took a while to realize
That there was some hope
For a kid like me
As I look on back
Through the silver glass
Im proud because of all I’ve overcome
In my time of reflection
I was always scared I’d be
Written off and outcast
What would they all think of me?
Fearing the worst in my head
So I kept to my own music
To distract my disillusions
Quietly I struggled to be free
The truth I wanted to erase
I couldn’t look into a mirror at my own face
Cause I’ve always known
It just took a while to realize
That there was some hope
For a kid like me
As I look on back
Through the silver glass
Im proud I’ve overcome
And healed those scars
In my time of reflection
I never wanted to believe
But I came to terms eventually
And they’re all still proud of me
Cause I can live in honesty
Cause I’ve always known
It just took a while to realize
That there was some hope
For a kid like me
As I look on back
Through the silver glass
Im proud because of all I’ve overcome
In my time of reflection
I believe
In my time of reflection
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10. |
Shadow
06:14
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Here I am
I’ve done this all before
My body shakes my heart will race
I’m lying on the floor
I can only ride this out
Till my mind wears me down
Like a torn up journal entry
In pieces in the dark
To me
You are no stranger
You’ve been here my whole life
But always fail to make me braver
Internal sabotage
You’re a like a ghost without a cause
Lingering inside my head
you haunt me
And I hide you with a smile
To make them think that I’m alright
But I know that I’m a liar
Every time I say I’m fine
Cause you follow me
Every day you’re right behind me
You make my life feel so god damn empty
Like I don’t even matter
You twist my thoughts and all of my mistakes
Block the light out make me feel insane
You’re just like my shadow
Cause you’ll always follow me
Here I am
I keep trying
To shake this twisted obsession
With hurting myself
But you always undermine
With judgement you disguise
Everything I’ve ever done
Like I’ve failed everyone else
And I
I keep wishing
That someone someday will save me
From this pain that keeps me living
But love is no solution
Cause it can't fix it all
And in the end I need to same myself
So I’ll hide you with a smile
Just to function all the time
And I know that I’m a lair
When I say that I’m all right
Cause you follow me
Every day you’re right behind me
You Make my life feel so god damn empty
Like I don’t even matter
You twist my thoughts and all of my mistakes
Block the light out make me feel insane
You’re just like my shadow
Cause you’ll always follow me
I didn’t want them all to see
Me broken down like this
But the consequence
Of running just to exist
Is only suffering
Oh I can’t hide
Cause You follow me
Every day you’re right behind me
You Make my life feel so god damn empty
Like I don’t even matter
You only make Mistakes
Block the light out make me feel insane
You’re just like my shadow
Here I am
All I have is hope
It’s a lonely shred of light
In a dark and empty void
I’ve got reasons to believe
In what I will achieve
I’ve put my faith in a childhood dream
Cause I’m more than a shadow
And maybe one day I’ll be free
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11. |
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Strips of light through my window shades
Light these stripped down walls
In a whole new way
I can’t believe just how much I’ve changed
And there’s still so much to celebrate
Packed up my life
And unpacked my pride
In cardboard moving boxes
Covering the floor
A change of pace and a change of mind
It’s a blank slate
And I’ll I’ve got is time
Cause I’m still writing my story on the bedroom walls
It’s messy and imperfect, don’t hold back at all
I’m just grateful for each chapter
Through hurt, the cries and laughs
No I won’t look back
Now I’m staring at the ceiling
Knowing I can be
Stronger than I once believed
I’m lost inside the present
Like a memory
Cause I know I’m always free
Cause I know that I am always free
I used to believe that freedom was an endgame
That one day I’d rid myself completely of my shadows and insecurities
But they’re as much of a part of you as your passions, beliefs and wildest day dreams
I’m not perfect but I’m still learning
To shake hands with my ghosts
Letting go and taking control
And I’ve begun to realize
Happiness isn’t the freedom from pain
It is freedom in spite of it
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Kristian Veech Nashville, Tennessee
With a whimsical, starry-eyed approach and vulnerable story telling, Kristian forges his own sound, backed by a sheen of country, pop, rock and americana. The Nashville based singer songwriter draws inspiration from artists such as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Kacey Musgraves, and Luke Combsamong others. ... more
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